Who knew....

I just got home from a night hanging out with some of my girlfriends! They all have younger kids than I do, and they do these like " sales " where they take their kids clothes and try to sell them if they dont sell then they donate them, pretty cool! Well we all got together tonight to have dinner and visit and catch up, and also the ladies were marking their stuff to get it ready for this sale next week or weekend. I loved being there and hearing their baby stories, visiting with my pal X, and just being with some friends, and Mamas!! Its amazing how I feel right now, like I miss every one of those girls I dont see them near enough as I d like too! I know that families and lives takes us into different directions, but you know I need to do a better job at making time for my friends!

This summer has seemed to come and go faster than I think any other summer has for me. And seeing how I have been " sick " for most of it I have looked back on how much I feel of the summer I have truly missed. You know when you arent feeling well the last thing you want to do is hang around others, especially lots of others! And who knows you best then your pals right!! Some may think the health issues I have going on are serious and some do not, I m not really sure where I stand on that, I guess when my DR starts to worry alot then in return I will start to worry! But dealing with this pain and sickness everyday for the summer has just gotten me so bitter and so fed up with feeling this way, that I have the attitdue of " I wanna move on with my life" I wanna have fun I wanna be that girl that everyone loved being around, not the one the people dread being around!! ( No one has ever said that they dread being around me but I dread being around me when I m sick I can only imagine what others think )

I left Lizs house tonight feeling happy and loved just hanging out with those ladies for a few hours and feeling like a part of their life. You know tonight something stuck out to me, that my Mom has been telling me for years, I do not give myself enough credit, nor do I think highly of myself! And I do , I am like that! My friend Kelsey said tons of times how glad she was that I was there, feeling wanted and needed like that is something that I hold very dear to me. I have never thought I was pretty enough, or smart enough, or in shape enough! I just never thought too much for myself when others thought I was the sweetest, nicest, fun, loving girl they had ever met, and tonight I saw little things of myself that I havent seen in a really long time! It was a nice thing to see, it kinda opened my eyes!!

I have been going thru a dark time for sometime now, and I really feel like this is a start of pulling myself out of it, and a start back to the Tammy that I can like! And the Tammy my husband fell in love with!

This might seem like an odd post, but it was something I was feeling and wanted to share and what better way to share it than on my blog, thats what its there for right!!

Well off to bed I go, I need some cuddle time with my puppies as Daddy is at the lake with his Mens Group . One day away and I miss him like crazy!!